Unwanted
by Jez Redfern the Huntress
Summary: I wasn't wanted here, within the pack. I wasn't wanted in La Push. Even my little brother disliked me. I wasn't wanted anywhere. This wasn't new, but it was the first time it really hit me like a ton of bricks. -A oneshot about the first time Leah Phased, Sam's feelings about it and Leah's inner torment. -


**So, I just watched all the movies and read all the books again! They were awesome! And I had a bunch of fanfiction ideas! But first, Leah. Her character facinated me. Her bitterness, her anger, her sense of loss. So, I wanted to write about it! Enjoy, and please remember to leave a review or a favorite. Reviews mean rhe world to me. so, apart from that, look for some new _Twilight __Saga _fics from me soon if you enjoyed this! Again, please review! Thanks!  
~Jez**

* * *

Anger rolled off me in waves. Red tinted my vision.

"Whoa. Chillax, Leah." Seth looked a little stunned at my overreaction, and he took half a step back. "You. Will. Never. Joke. About. Sam. Again." I growled, hands curling into claws. I shouldn't be so angry. I'd said I was over Sam. But I wasn't. Obviously. He'd been the love of my life, until that traitor Emily… At the thought of Emily, I lost control. A shriek tearing through my clenched teeth, I lunged at Seth. A shudder crept up my spine and the air shimmered. I exploded out of my clothes and my vision pulsated, shifting so the world around me looked strange. I flew through the air, towards Seth, who had gone white as bone. He half opened his mouth… to scream, maybe, but he'd never get the chance. That gave me some satisfaction. I was the hunter. And he was the prey. Something slammed onto my left side, hard.

_Leah, no! _The mental shout was colored with alarm.

I lay still for a moment, the wind knocked out of me, vaguely noticing voices swirling in my head.

_How did this happen—_

_This is impossible, never in the stories… _

_First girl—_

_Lucky Jake is fast, saved Seth's life,_

_Yeah, the kid would be wolf kibble…_

I shook my head, trying to make sense of the voices. Some of them I recognized.  
Jacob. Embry. Jared. Paul. Quil. But one voice stood out from all the rest, layered with command and pride. The voice I'd heard a million times. Sam.

_Not Leah, anyone but her…_

I was on my feet like a lightning bolt. Facing me were six wolves. I shrank back, they were _huge. _In the lead was a midnight black monster, with narrow yellow eyes, easily the biggest out of the entire pack. On his right, nearly as big, a shaggy rusty reddish brown wolf with black liquid eyes. I spotted others. A cinder gray wolf, a chocolate brown, a muddy brown, a thin pale gray with black stripes-

Reality hit heavily upon me.

I was a wolf.

My fried brain tried to make sense of it, but I was paralyzed. How? How?  
It wasn't possible. Was it? The tribe stories…. My dad….

I could see myself in the other wolves' minds. I was small, compared to them, and my coat was pale gray. My muzzle was longer, thinner, more _feminine _than them, and my tail was thick and long.

_Wow. Okay. When you're done checking your wolf self out…. _Hinted the reddish brown wolf. The wolf that was Jacob._Shut up, Jake. _I shot back, snarling ever so slightly.  
_Oh, I'm scared of the little girly wolf. _Jake mocked, his amusement mingling with irritation.  
_You caught on pretty fast. Good job, Leah. Welcome to the pack!_ The thin gray and black wolf was only too eager to speak. I tried to roll my eyes.

_Thanks, Embry. _I replied, heavy on the sarcasm.

I turned to the lead wolf; the one I knew without a doubt was Sam. My Sam.  
I felt emotions rush through him. Anger, joy, sadness and bitterness.

_Oh, great welcome Sam. Oh no, my pathetic ex girlfriend has joined the werewolf pack, what did I do to deserve this?  
_I mocked bitterly, and he said nothing, simply observing me. I curled my lip at him, trying to make sense of it all. My vision thrummed as I read into Sam's thoughts. I froze.

He wished I would leave La Push and never come back. He wished I would stop bugging him and Emily, stop shooting them bitter glances, stop making them feel guilty to be together. He'd never wanted something so much as to never see me again.

Of course, I'd known this for a long time— but reading his thoughts, confirming it, was like someone tearing my heart out. I'd always clung to hope that Sam still loved me, somewhere deep within him. I had never been able to cope with the fact he had abandoned me, the fact that he loved Emily, the look in his eyes when he watched her, the way they seemed just _right _for each other. Anybody else, anybody _strong, _would have been able to deal with it, to move on. Not me.

Before Sam, before his betrayal, I'd considered myself strong. I'd sneered at all the girls that had fell into depression after their boyfriends had left them, laughed myself silly over chick movies. But I'd realized I wasn't strong in the slightest. I was , Leah Clearwater, _weak_. I sank into depression; my personality changed completely. I was angry, bitter, with a short temper. I made everyone around me miserable.

I was unwanted.

I wasn't wanted here, within the pack. I wasn't wanted in La Push. Even my little brother disliked me. I wasn't wanted anywhere. This wasn't new, but it was the first time it really hit me like a ton of bricks.

I hared into the woods stretching out before me. My legs blurred as I sped up, faster than I ever would have imagined I could go. I found myself enjoying the speed, the freedom, but I pushed such thoughts ahead. I could hear and feel the rest of the pack— my pack— chasing after me, attempting to contact me with their thoughts. I knew they wouldn't catch up to me, and I refused to satisfy them with a reply. I hated them all deeply, and I wished they would _just leave me alone._

_'At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him. I just don't want to stick around and watch.'_

Weak Leah Clearwater, in other words me, was going to have to stick around for a while.

Unfortunately for Sam and everyone else.


End file.
